This month, one of those books is Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott.Notes from "Monthly Milestones & Projects" E-mails:
A service I offer existing clients is a monthly e-mail inviting them to let me know the milestones and projects they hope to accomplish in the upcoming month. I also invite them to let me know what they've accomplished the previous month.
If they've shared those targets and accomplishments with me, then the next month the e-mail will show the previous month's targets as well as a running list of all the accomplishments they've reported for that year. By the time December rolls around, you could have a list of all your accomplishments for the year!
If you are not a current client, you can still participate in this process. I'll let you try it at no charge for your first four months. After that, it is available at an annual subscription fee of $245.
Want the four month trial? Click here.
October, 2004:
A phrase I remember from Stephen Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is " Start with the end in mind."
I seem to be getting reminded about that every way I turn these days.
I've been doing the things I need to do, but without much awareness of why I'm doing them. With Covey in mind, I'm working to shift my focus from action and activity to the result I want to create.
Last night I facilitated a meeting. There were lots of things to do to have that happen. But the point of the meeting wasn't to just have it. The point was to have something happen because of the meeting. As I walked into the room, I reminded myself of what my objective was and what I hoped for.
A week ago, I might have "done" the meeting with little awareness of why I was there.
I was talking with a client yesterday who needs to reorganize her office. One of her tasks this month will be to redefine everyone's job. She said she'd need to carve out some time and figure out what tasks each person should be responsible for. This sounded totally tedious. So tedious that it might not get done.
So I asked if there was some way to have it be more interesting. We ended up with the idea that she would identify the contributions she wants from each employee, and enlist their help in spelling out the task assignments.
This month, I am going to stop myself twice a day to consider why I'm doing the tasks I'm facing.
If you've been grinding things out lately, disconnected from your greater purpose, I invite you to join me in starting with the end in mind.
September, 2004:
As I've mentioned before, I subscribe to a web site (Audible.com) where, for $17/month, I can download two audio books and burn them onto CDs. I listen to them in the car as I buzz around town.
This month, one of those books is Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott.
The title comes from advice Lamott's father gave her younger brother when that 10-year-old had to write a paper for school about birds. He had had the assignment for three months, and it was due the next day.
Lamott's little brother cried about not knowing where to start; he had gathered information about so many birds. His father's advice was to "just take it bird by bird."
Lamott also suggests how much a writer should try to accomplish in any single sitting. Should the writer plan on writing a whole chapter? Ten pages? How much? Lamott keeps a picture frame on her desk to remind herself of how much she should try to accomplish in any single session. That picture frame is 1 inch by 1 inch (right). Lamott figures she should aim to write no more than could fit in that box.
One last piece of Lamott advice: let yourself write horrible first drafts. She says no writer of any merit writes a good first draft. She would claim Tolstoy and Shakespeare wrote horrible first drafts. Then she admits that's not really true, but you should pretend it is anyway, and let yourself just get on with it.
This month, I will take things bird by bird. My first target will be filling that one inch square. Finally, I'll ignore the temptation to be perfect. I'll get on with it and do a horrible first draft.
I hope one of these thoughts will be useful to you.
August, 2004:
Last month, I started this e-mail with the following paragraph:
Before I set my milestones for this month, I reviewed my goals for the year. I want to make sure the milestones I'm aiming at include milestones that relate to my goals for the year. If I don't do that, I run the risk of accomplishing lots of things, but not the things that I said mattered most.
I recommend you do the same.
This month, I want to expand on that thought.
Something I've noticed in past years is that I can go through a year having done a great job of achieving my weekly tasks and monthly milestones, and still do a lousy job of achieving my goals for the year.
Why that would happen used to be mystery for me. It is not any more.
I realize now that in those years when I would feel and look productive all year long only to find I had accomplished few of my goals for the year, the problem was my starting point for setting my milestones for the month.
If I set my monthly milestones based on my to-do list, I stand a great chance of getting those things done, but my chances of accomplishing what matters most are up for grabs.
Actually, in that scenario, my chances for achieving my goals are probably not even that good. The reason is that my to-do list is probably mostly filled with things that are mostly urgent, and maybe important. My goals for the year are more likely to be important and maybe never urgent.
If, instead, I set my monthly milestones based on my goals for the year, my chances of ending the year having accomplished my goals for the year are terrific. My to-do list will probably get done, too. If it doesn't, at least some of the time that will mean I didn't do things that ultimately didn't need to get done.
So, again, when it comes to setting your milestones for this month, I invite you to start with your 2004 goals and work backwards.
July, 2004:
Some months ago, at a family birthday party, my niece's husband, Matt, mentioned he had attended a big motivational shindig sponsored by the little company he works for. That company, Microsoft, had flown lots of key employees to Atlanta for the shindig. The keynote speaker was Todd Skinner. Matt told me that Skinner, a mountain/rock climber, was fabulous.
Based on this recommendation, I picked up one of Skinner's books, Beyond The Summit — Setting and Surpassing Extraordinary Business Goals.
Although I'm not ready to recommend the book, I did read a line this morning that I really liked.
Skinner is a "free climber." That means he only uses his hands and feet to climb. He'll use ropes and other equipment for safety, but never to assist in his climbs.
One result of this approach is that free climbs can take a long, long time. According to Matt, in Skinner's speech, Skinner said he has sometimes spent hours figuring out how to move 18 inches.
One result of this style taking so long is that the climber is on the mountain, exposed to the elements for hours and hours, and ultimately for days.
Skinner writes that "Ultimately, the hardest part of big wall free climbing is not the exposure, but the acceptance that there is no instant gratification."
Being a bit of an instant gratification junkie, this was a good reminder for me. If you need to be more patient in tolerating a methodical approach to your goals, it might be a good reminder for you, too.
June, 2004:
Last night, I ended my one-month season as a Timberwolves fan when they lost to the Los Angeles Lakers. I became a sudden basketball fan after Lindsey Whalen got me started as the Gopher Women's basketball team made it's run in the NCAA tournament.
A few weeks ago, as the T-Wolves started their series with
It's a simple law: In any game except the official last game in a series, if the teams are reasonably matched in talent, the team that must win will win.
***
That held true in the
I mentioned this today to a client who reported that her firm's sales for May were below May's goal, but that the company still had a chance to hit its second quarter goal, if June's sales were really strong. I mentioned Mick's First Law of NBA Playoffs, and asked my client to what extent their sales staff believed the company must achieve that second quarter goal.
Thinking about that, I remembered the movie Touching the Void, where the mountain climber Joe Simpson miraculously dragged himself to safety after having been left for dead. Although it was extremely hard for Simpson to survive, it probably wasn't difficult for him to maintain his focus, since it was a matter of life and death. There was no number two on his to-do list.
Likewise, these NBA teams, on facing must-win games, also probably find it easy to focus. Again, not easy to win, but easy to focus.
That reminded me of Steven Covey's ideas from his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People — when he discussed what he called "Quadrant II" activities. Covey pointed out that QII activities are by definition important, but not urgent. Covey emphasizes that because, by definition, QII activities are not on anyone else's radar screens, tend only to be important to us, we often let them slide.
Tying this together, I end up at here: How do we apply Mick's First Law of NBA Playoffs to the Quadrant II activities in our lives when we rarely ever must get them done in the short term? What do I do to reach my milestones this month in the face of the fact that I probably do not need to? Without the clarity of a life or death situation, how do I create within myself the sense of "must do?"
I leave you with this question and no answers. I wish us both the best in finding an answer in June, or someday soon since, as Covey also points out, eventually those things that are important, but not urgent, have a way of becoming critically urgent.
June, 2004:
Tuesday night, I passed up the first half of the (ultimately disappointing) Timberwolves game to attend a program called "The Hidden Message of Water." It was held at the Wayzata Community church, a large facility with seating for maybe 800 people. When we arrived, I was amazed to find the place packed. We were lucky to get seats in the last row!
***
The presenter was Dr. Masura Emoto of
In that demonstration, Emoto had three tuning forks. Two were tuned to emit a sound at a frequency of 440 cycles. The other to a tone of 442 cycles. (One thing to notice is that 442 is different from 440, but not by much.)
Emoto demonstrated that if he struck one of the 440 cycle tuning forks, held it close to the other 440, then muffle (by holding the fork end in his hand) the original, the second 440 tuning fork, which had not been physically touched, emitted a distinct tone showing that it had received energy from the firs one. It resonated with the first.
Next Emoto repeated the demonstration using one of the 440 frequency tuning forks and the 442 tuning fork. He struck the 440, held it close to the 442, muffled the 440, and checked for sound coming from the 442. No sound. No transfer of energy. No resonance.
***
Frankly, I'm not sure what the point of this might be for you.
For me, it's a great reminder of and clarification that resonance is fundamental to coaching. Actually, it's fundamental to any relationship. It's fundamental to anyone's ability to have an impact on another. That includes sales, politics and medicine.
For me, it's a reminder to be careful to avoid coaching from or through information. After watching Emoto's demonstration, I'm clear that what I need to always remember to do is be aware of how much I feel I'm resonating with my clients, as well as the people I care about in life.
Perhaps a milestone for this month might include tuning yourself to resonate with particular people, be they family, clients or employees, who matter to you.
***
As a reminder, the movie is based on the book by Joe Simpson. In 1985, Simpson and his mountain-climbing partner, Simon Yates, traveled to
After attempting to lower Simpson via their ropes, things went sour, and Yates, after holding Simpson suspended in mid-air for 90 minutes, cut the rope, sending Simpson (presumably) to his "death."
But Simpson didn't die in that fall, and managed to make it out alive.
Enough review. Here's what I wanted to share with you.
Since I've seen the movie and then read the book, I've talked about the story with nearly everyone I've met. In one conversation, a friend mentioned that he didn't have the luxury of being as single-minded as Simpson was in pursuing his milestones. Simpson, after all, had his priorities pretty clear: live or die. There weren't any kids or spouses needing anything. There weren't any deadlines to meet. No budgets to approve. Simpson didn't have any competing projects. He didn't have any distractions at all. Live or die. Simple.
I think this is a valid point. Our lives are much more complicated then what Simpson faced.
But in talking with another friend, we realized that the trick in our complicated lives, in the face of all our competing priorities, may be to pretend that things are actually that simple.
We might pretend that, for the next 30 minutes, the only thing in our world is to:
What if we could pretend that that one thing is the only thing to do?
Is this akin to the Zen idea that "when you wash dishes, just wash dishes?"
Personally, I don't operate like that, but I'm going to try this month.
If you're interested in the movie, it's still around. Right now it's at the Edina Theater (50th and
March, 2004:
I've received some questions lately, as I've shifted from talking about "goals" to talking about "milestones," about what exactly I mean by the word milestone vs. goal, project, task, etc.
Thanks to the serendipity of my friend Bill Gjetson seeing the movie and insisting that I go see Touching the Void, I have a great answer and example. This e-mail is longer than is usual, but I think it's worth your time to read it. (Bill deserves the credit for this as it was his insight.)
***
The movie (currently at the Uptown theater) is based on the book by Joe Simpson. In 1985, Simpson and his mountain-climbing partner, Simon Yates, traveled to Peru to climb a mountain that had never been climbed before. Their plan was to do it alone and without oxygen.
Disaster #1
They were successful in getting to the top, but on the way down, Simpson took a 20 foot fall. In the process, one of his feet hit a rock, breaking his ankle. And his heal. And driving one of his lower leg bones through his knee cap.
To rescue someone with such injuries, Simpson says, would normally take 10 men and a helicopter. Yates and Simpson were alone. Even if Yates could get down alone, help was days away. Simpson quickly realized he was essentially a dead man and that Yates should do the prudent thing and leave him.
Yates didn't leave him…yet.
Instead Yates came up with a plan where Yates would lower Simpson via their ropes to a place where Simpson would anchor himself, and then Yates would climb down to him. They did this successfully several times when, in darkness, another disaster occurred. Simpson slid over a cliff. Yates continued to lower the rope, not knowing Simpson was hanging helplessly in mid air. Finally, the rope reached its limit and Yates could only hold on. He held on for 90 minutes until he was yanked from his secured perch and bit by bit was pulled down the mountain.
Disaster #2
Realizing he could do nothing to save Simpson, he cut the rope, sending Simpson to his "death."
Disaster #3
But Simpson didn't die in that fall. He ended up facing an even worse situation, as he landed in a crevasse. Simpson again realized he would die; only now he would die alone, in the dark, slowly, or if he couldn't face that, he'd plunge into oblivion and commit suicide.
But he set a goal for himself: "I'm not going to die here." After making the most unbelievable decision (I'll not spoil that part), Simpson managed to get out of the crevasse. After the jubilation of that escape ended, he realized getting out of the crevasse was the easy part. He still needed to get down to a glacier, cross the glacier, then cross a bolder field, then get to the camp site, and find that empty and die there.
"As I gazed at the distant moraines, I knew that I must at least try. I would probably die out there amid those boulders. The thought didn't alarm me. It seamed reasonable, matter-of-fact. That was how it was. I could aim for something."
I'm not going to die here; I'll die over there.
So Simpson started the arduous and excruciatingly painful process of crawling across the glacier without falling into its many fissures. "I would crawl on the glacier, but I didn't think that far ahead. If my perspectives had sharpened, so too had they narrowed, until I thought only in terms of achieving predetermined aims and no further. Reaching the glacier was my aim."
How did he do that? "I would look ahead and note some features in the waves of snow, then look at my watch, and the (inner) voice told me to reach that point in half an hour. I obeyed."
My watch became as crucial as my good leg
He made it to, and finally over the glacier. Then, again, he realized he was done with the easy part. He faced a much more difficult and painful challenge in crossing the bolder field the glacier had created. He took the same approach there. "I timed myself religiously. I looked ahead to a landmark and gave myself half an hour to reach it. As I neared the mark, a furious bout of watch-glancing would ensue, until it became part of the pattern. If I realized I was behind time, I tried to rush the last ten minutes of hopping. I fell so much more when I rushed, but it had become so damned important to beat the watch. Only once did I fail to beat it, and I sobbed with annoyance. The watch became as crucial as my good leg."
One of Simpson lowest moments came near the end of his ordeal. Off the boulder field, his next goal was to reach an area called "Bomb Alley." This time, he started with a general idea of how long it should take to get there, certainly well before darkness. Not only did he not reach Bomb Alley that night, he ended the day near delirium.
His mistake? "I stopped timing landmarks and set my sights on Bomb Alley. When it became dark, I had no idea how far Bomb Alley was, nor did I know how far I had crawled. Without checking my watch, I had lain in stupefied exhaustion after every fall.
Bomb Alley had then become a vague aim instead of a carefully planned objective. Without timing each stage, I had drifted aimlessly with no sense of urgency."
***
I think it is significant that Simpson's goal, survival, was clearly impossible or at least so overwhelming a goal that he couldn't consider it directly. I believe that at some level he worked to survive, but consciously, he was not thinking about making it home. He knew he would die. Thus, his goal became to "do something positive. I could crawl and climb, and keep on doing so until I had escaped from this grave. Before, there had been nothing for me to do except lie on the ice bridge trying not to feel scared and lonely, and that helplessness had been my worst enemy. Now I had a plan."
Lessons
What did I learn about milestones from this story?
Considering this story, I remembered what happened in an NFL playoff game years ago. It is considered to be the greatest NFL comeback of all time, and one of the greatest in the history of all sports:
It came at Buffalo's Rich Stadium, 3 Jan 1999. The Bills were 32 points behind the Houston Oilers (35-3) at half time. The Bills eventually won. The comeback was all the more remarkable because it was masterminded by Buffalo's back-up quarterback Frank Reich.
I remember a post-game interview where Reich was asked about their half-time pep talk and what was said that could have the team believe they could win. I remember Reich saying something like "we didn't talk about winning. We talked about playing like professionals."
In that answer, I hear that Reich and his teammates expected they would lose, but they were not willing to lose looking like chumps. They at least wanted to lose looking like professionals.
That sounds a lot like Joe Simpson's remark "I'm not going to die here" in the crevasse. He would still die, but at least it would be on the glacier, or in boulder field, or maybe close to his former camp site.
That leads me to the final thing I learned from Simpson's story:
December, 2003:
I was talking this week with Gary Johnson of the Loring Family Clinic of Attention and Memory. Gary is the best resource in the Twin Cities for Attention Deficit Disorder. In our conversation, Gary said the best definition of procrastination he's ever heard goes something like this:
Procrastination is the process of taking something that boring and making it interesting.
The way it works for the person with ADD is like this: Boring tasks are processed in a particular part of the brain. For people with ADD, that part of their brain doesn't function very well, so they have trouble paying attention to things that are boring.
Most of the time, the first time something shows up on this person's to-do list, it's not very interesting. Today's mail is not generally interesting, it's boring. The project that isn't due for a month isn't interesting, it's boring. Because these things are boring, I don't do them. I procrastinate.
If I wait long enough, lots of boring tasks become interesting because they become urgent. Maybe they turn into a crisis. That's how procrastination becomes a process where something boring becomes interesting.
Johnson also said that once a task becomes interesting, it gets processed in a different part of the brain from when it was boring. That part of the brain functions fine in the person with ADD. Thus, once something becomes interesting, the person with ADD does just fine in taking action on it. (That completes the seemingly paradoxical circle for the person with ADD: They won't do what is boring to them (perhaps what you want them to do), but they have no trouble doing what they want to do.)
My question for you for December is this: what tasks that you've procrastinated on in 2003 would you like to get done before it becomes 2004? For which ones would it be interesting for you to get them done before the calendar strikes 1/01/04?
Once you've made your list, you can make them even more interesting by picking out the ones you PROMISE yourself to get done this month, and then sharing that list with me.
November, 2003:
I have probably written here before about the value of breaking down big projects into smaller tasks. Yesterday, in listening to a book on CD called Mean Genes, I heard that idea reinforced.
That book discusses the genetic basis for a lot of things people consider bad habits. It explains the genetic reasons why all babies are afraid of snakes and even pictures of snakes, but are not afraid of loaded guns. It explains why teen-age boys take physical risks, and why females tend to be physically smaller and live longer then men. It explains why people freely take some risks, but are deliberate in taking the risk to marry.
The book explains the obvious fact that sex feels good because Mother Nature wants to encourage us to have babies and keep the human race going.
Likewise, Mother Nature wants to encourage us to make progress. Any kind of progress.
One way Mother Nature does that is to reward us for completing tasks since that's the way we perceive that we are making progress. Our brains are designed to reward us for making progress. Making progress releases lots of brain chemicals that make us feel better. When we feel good, we keep doing things, and make more progress. Our brains function better if we think we are making progress.
Thus, the authors' advice is, rather than put something on your to-do
list like “complete the Hamilton project,” you should just list
a small step in that process like “get Hamilton's attorney's
phone number.”
Try it and see if your brain isn't happier.
You've probably heard of the research that shows that people who set (and achieve) goals are more successful. Maybe that's because the process of targeting and accomplishing stuff has them rewarded more often which has them feel better, which has them accomplish more.
September, 2003:
I'm late getting this e-mail out because I haven't know what to write.
It occurs to me that I might be tired of being focused on my goals and objectives and maybe this is a month when I need to keep a closer eye on what I've accomplished. That might not mean ignoring my goals, but it might mean paying more attention to progress made.
August, 2003:
A couple of weeks ago, I was preparing for my annual Vision Quest as part of my Inner Circle membership.
The Vision Quest is a 60-minute presentation built around a number of compelling questions including ones about business and personal vision. Each year, I especially focus my preparation on one particular part of the Vision Quest format. This year, I decided to focus on the "significant life events" section.
First, I updated my Inspiration software and started working on a flow chart showing the chains of events that led to important outcomes in my life. The surprise out of this exercise was the importance of my dad buying me a manual typewrite when I was 12. I can make a case for the possibility that I would not be a professional coach today had my dad not given me that typewriter.
My point in mentioning this here, in an e-mail about your monthly goals and
milestones, is to emphasize that we have no way of knowing how significant most
of our actions are in the lives of others, especially kids. Who could have predicted
that that typewriter would be relevant in someone finding their life work 30
years later?
When you pick your milestones for the month, if one of them involves doing something
for another person, keep in mind that you might just be changing someone's life
in the process, although if that is the case, you'll probably never know.
July, 2003:
The one instrument that I sometimes use in my coaching is a profile of motivation, although I also like the one you'll find a link for on my web site, Martin Seligman's online instrument that identifies one's “Signature Strengths.”
Right now, I'm reading a two-book series based on research from the Gallup organization. Marcus Buckingham is coauthor of both, the first in the series being First, Break All the Rules with Curt Coffman, and the second Now, Discover Your Strengths with Donald O. Clifton. (I think it's safe to assume there will be a third book that starts with Then, …)
The point about strengths is that the only way to be or do anything exceptional is through your talents and strengths. Peter Drucker made this point years ago: focus on developing your strengths and manage your weaknesses. “Manage” meaning to avoid depending on them or to improve them enough to avert disaster.
In my coaching, I assume a client will be more likely to take action where their motivation is natural and where the road to success is their talent. I put a lot of my attention on figuring out what those are.
When you pick your milestones for the month, keep in mind what you know about yourself in terms of motivation and strengths. Try to position yourself so that the actions that matter come naturally. If you don't know what your strengths are, you might want to pick up a copy of the book.
June, 2003:
Last week was an expensive week with my car. First it was $1,800 for a valve job; then $200 after a flat tire. The lesson out of this is to go back to the wisdom of the book, Leadership and Self-Deception, and be more careful to avoid those pesky acts of self betrayal.
The book Leadership and Self-Deception is published by the Arbinger Institute. It was a trendy read among coaches a couple of years ago after the Coach Training Institute adopted it (I think) in one of its programs. The fundamental point of the book is that self-betrayal is the main enemy of effective leadership and that we betray ourselves when we think of doing something and then do not do it.
As for my car, I've been thinking for months that it was running a hot and that I should get it in to Skip's Auto for a look-see. It turned out that a $15 part was cracked leading to a hotter engine. That led to a blown head gasket two weeks ago. That led to an $1800 valve job. Cost of self-betrayal: $1,800.
Two days later, I was thinking of this and realizing I'd use it as the topic for this e-mail. While I was thinking about the subject, my attention was interrupted by my car pulling to the left. It had been doing that for a while. I wondered if I should look at that tire.
Irritated, I'd go back to thinking about the dangers of self-deception. Again, my concentration was interrupted by my car pulling to the left. Finally, in the rain, waiting at a stop light, I hopped out to look at that front left tire: flat as my singing voice. Fortunately, I was right in front of a car dealership. The tire was destroyed by driving on it while flat, and I needed to buy two new tires to get back on the road and further ponder the dangers of self-betrayal.
So, my advice to you this month as you set your objectives and mile stones,
is to keep in mind the things you've been thinking about doing but haven't
gotten around to doing. That includes thank-you notes, bills that need paying,
extra follow-up for clients, confronting an employee, as well as car maintenance.
May, 2003:
Last week, I had lunch with Rob Otterson. You'll hear more about him in the future, but for now let me just say that he's the “red velvet couch” guy regarding networking. I feel badly about raining on Rob's parade. He was full of energy and very upbeat, while I whined about April. In my whining, I complained that for all I accomplished that month, I didn't feel very satisfied.
Later that same day, while driving about, I was listening to the audio book version of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Through Tolle's fairly thick German accent, I listened to him caution about one of the dangers of goal setting – getting overly focused on the future, and missing out on what's going on right now. (Note: If you're interested in Tolle's ideas, I'd recommend his smaller book, Practicing The Power of Now. As my friend Dan DeMuth describes this book, "it's The Power of Now only less." In other words, it's like a Cliff's notes version of the longer book.)
A couple of days later, I talked with my friend Kathi Tunheim. Kathi is a master at goal setting and accomplishment. I asked her what she would say to a friend if she were explaining the power of goal setting.
Kathi said she'd probably share how experts say that people who write down what they want in life are 80% more likely to attain it. She added that research shows that only 3% of the population bothers to take advantage of this tool and write their goals down. A couple of days after talking with Kathi, I read in a little book The 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It by David Niven, Ph. D., that “having concrete goals increases confidence by 50 percent.”
Here's my message for this month: Put this all together and you get the yin and yang of goal setting. Do write your goals down on paper and enjoy the results of greater confidence and success. Do not obsess on them and miss out on what is happening around you right now.
April, 2003:
A couple of months ago, I wrote in this e-mail about how I believe that the key to goal setting is that it keeps us focused on what we want, keeps our awareness directed, and that because of that we're more likely to have that moment when we fully commit ourselves to producing that desired result.
After that, I received a note from Barb Laporte saying that Treasure Mapping is a great adjunct to that process.
I'm not sure how Barb presents Treasure Mapping, but what I understand about it is that it is a process where you create a collage of images (typically photos cut out of magazines) and words that relate to your goal. You glue the images and words on a big piece of card stock, say 2 feet by three feet, and then mount it on a wall where you'll see it frequently.
Mind Mapping is similar, except it doesn't include the photos. I had lunch with my good friend Mark Lindblad recently and he showed me a Mind Map he had created to help stay focused on what matters most in his life.
Further, I've often read and heard the advice that we're more likely to achieve what we want if we create a mental image of it. Dieters are encouraged to tape an old photo of themselves (when they were at their goal weight) on their bathroom mirror so they can see how they want to look. Others recommend we write what we want on PostIt notes and plaster them around.
***
What's my point?
I'm reading a book (recommended by Bill Gjetson) titled Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain by Antonio R. Damasio.
I read this week that “images…are the main content to our thoughts.”
Damasio writes that when we think of words, they first show up as an image of the word. He says even sounds first show up as images, although I didn't really understand his explanation.
Given that, maybe one way to keep our brain focused on what we want is to actually provide it the image of what we want. Thus, something like a Treasure Map.
If you're interested in Treasure Mapping, the one book
I know that explains it is The
Energy of Money by Maria Nemeth. I'm sure there are
others, and if you know of one, let me know and I'll include it with next
month's e-mail.
March, 2003:
After last month's goal-setting e-mail, I was visiting with a friend who challenged me about it. He (Larry) said a month was too short of a time period to accomplish a goal of any significance. I agreed.
I realize that the “goals” I aim for on a monthly basis are more milestones on the way to accomplishing a goal I've set for the year. Usually they're bigger then a single specific action, although sometimes they're not if the action has special significance.
So, if I refer to this as my “goal-setting” e-mail, let me add this caveat: I intend this e-mail, and especially the practice of having me keep track of your monthly goals milestones to be in service of your achieving the goals you've set for the quarter, year, or something even longer.
***
Speaking of challenges, another friend challenged something I wrote about in December, when I discussed the wisdom of picking milestones that are attainable (as in the notion of a “SMART” goal that is specific, measurable, attainable, responsible and time based.)
He, Jeff, said something about the likelihood that a goal that was very attainable, i.e. under my control, would probably be pretty small and uninspiring. He's got a point.
Here's what I'm doing with the paradox of attainability vs inspiration: I've invented a notion for myself that I call the “Game.” For me, the Game is the thing I really want regardless of how possible or unlikely it might be. My goal is the attainable objective I want to reach within a particular time period. So I might have a Game of moving to a house on Lake Minnetonka and a goal of increasing my annual income by 20%. This way I stay conscious of what I'm currently working towards and of what I ultimately want.
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One final point: Below is my regular invitation for you to forward to me your goals milestones for March and/or your accomplishments for February. If you're not much of a milestone-setting person, I really encourage you to track your accomplishments. I find it very useful to remind myself from time to time that I've not just kept busy, I've actually accomplished something!
February, 2003:
I recently did a mini workshop about goal setting. Preparing for that reminded me of something pretty fundamental about goal setting and accomplishment that I believe. That fundamental belief is that goal setting is not what matters most when it comes to having the lives we want.
What I believe is most important when it comes to accomplishment is making the decision deep in our heart to make the thing happen that we want.
When I talk about goal setting to groups, I do a little exercise. I ask people to jot down five or six of the most significant accomplishments of their lives. When they've done that, I ask them to note for each:
Typically, nearly everyone indicates that for many of those accomplishments they can vaguely remember a moment of commitment, for most they can remember thinking about wanting to do the thing. Very few remember using any goal setting process involving writing it down.
One might think that this means that goal setting does not really matter. After all, these people have accomplished significant things without it.
For me, however, it points out why goal setting is important:
That's why I believe setting goals is important.
January, 2003:
For a couple of months, I have shared with you some ideas from a workshop I
attended in September titled “Mastering Life's Energies” in
Sacramento led by Maria Nemeth, author
of the book The
Energy of Money.
This may be my last installment of those ideas. As many others who write about
goal setting Nemeth recommends having your goals be “SMART.”
In her model, this acronym refers to goals that are:
The one element I want to comment on here is “Attainable.”
I've attended a number of workshops where the instructors encourage participants
to set deliberately outrageously high goals like “ending hunger in the
world” etc. Those instructors want goals that are explicitly not possible
within one's lifetime.
I've mentioned that others use the “SMART” acronym, but often
they use “Action based” in the place of “Attainable”
for the letter “A.”
It seems to me that Nemeth is thus taking a different path when she suggests
we set goals that are clearly under our control.
This approach may not be useful for everyone.
Some people set huge goals and routinely achieve them. If that's you,
stick with your approach.
It might be useful; however, if you find yourself NOT meeting the goals you
set for yourself. In that case, you might experiment for a month by making sure
the goals you set are more attainable.
For example, if you want to increase sales, but you don't feel confident
that you can just “create” a sale, focus on something more under
your control. That might be:
In this example, each alternative goal activity gets further away from what
you actually want (sales); that is, presenting a proposal is closer to getting
a sale than meeting with a prospect, which is closer to a sale than calling
someone, which is closer than mailing something.
Nemeth's advice would be to pick as a goal the action that feels like
it's under your control. I'd add that the “closer” the
goal you pick is to the result you actually want, the more likely you are to
get the result you seek.
December, 2002:
Last month, I shared with you some ideas from a workshop I attended in September titled “Mastering Life's Energies” in Sacramento led by Maria Nemeth, author of the book The Energy of Money.
Mostly, I shared with you the first part of Nemeth's model: intention. Nemeth defines an intention as “an underlying direction, aim, or purpose that has special meaning for an individual or group. Intentions have to do with a way of being, rather than something specific to do.”
The next part of her model is the goal. She defines a goal as “an area or object toward which play is directed in order to score.”
This month I share with you the second big point in Nemeth's model. It stems from her definition of a goal. Can you guess what it is?
It's the importance of “play” in our goals. If our goals are built around something that feels like “play,” or at least is something that we're truly excited about achieving, we'll be more likely to attain it. It's really simple: If our goal is something we're motivated to do, we'll be motivated to do it.
My suggestion is to look at the goals you're working toward. To what extent are they objectives you really, really desire? To what extent would it feel like play to work toward them? If they don't live in your heart with great desire, consider what you could do to change that. How would you make that change? That's a bigger question then I can tackle in this e-mail, but if you're stumped by it, give me a call and we'll chat.
November 2002:
A few weeks ago, I attended a workshop titled “Mastering Life's Energies” in Sacramento led by Maria Nemeth, author of the book The Energy of Money.
The workshop was a full 4½ days, going past 10:00 pm on one night. Part of the content involved Nemeth's model of goal setting. I want to share some of that with you today as part of October's “Goal Setting” e-mail.
Nemeth's model includes three main parts. The first is intention.
Nemeth defines an intention as “an underlying direction, aim, or purpose that has special meaning for an individual or group. Intentions have to do with a way of being, rather than something specific to do.”
Here are examples of intentions:
The next part of her model is the goal. She defines a goal as “an area or object toward which play is directed in order to score.”
The first important point in Nemeth's model is that we'll be happier and more energized if our intentions and goals are connected. She says it's not unusual for people to pursue goals that are not connected to an intention, and that doing so can leave us busy, even driven, but ultimately not very satisfied. If you've ever had a day when you were busy from start to finish, checked dozens of things off of your to-do list, but ended the day with an empty feeling, you understand what I'm talking about here.
So, when you set your goals for the month, I hope that for some you can see a connection between those goals and some intention that really matters to you. You might want to write down the intentions that do drive your behavior that are relevant for what you're up to this month. (Note, they start with the words “To be…”.)
October 2002:
Sorry I'm late getting this "Goal Setting" e-mail off to you. It's late because I've been effective in meeting my goals, but more about that lame excuse in a bit.
First, let me share with you what I've been focusing on when it comes to
goals: Execution.
Last month, as I was writing the August version of this, I realized that I had slipped into a relationship with some of my goals that was based more on hope than on commitment. I'll spare you the exciting details, and just say that since then, I've tried to consider every goal I write down as a promise of action to myself, not as something I hope to do.
Now, one of the things I've also started doing is to separate out my "action" goals from my "results" goals. Those are the results I hope my actions will produce. (I may need to work on that "hope," too.) So, for example, right now I don't relate to generating 3 new clients as an action I can take. It's a result I'm working towards. But to achieve that result, I set a goal of scheduling six networking appointments each week. That's an action I'm promising myself to take.
That takes us back to my lame excuse: I've had a world-record (for me) of 12 networking meetings this week, and that's in just four days!
If you're interested in this approach, distinguish between the results you want and the actions you're determined to take.
September 2002:
I had a recent insight about how I sometimes get with my goals that I thought I'd share with you.
The idea pertains to how I sometimes react to the goal that I have not fulfilled.
For a long, long time, I've had a goal each month to come up with a great “elevator” pitch. The notion here is to come up with some pithy and powerful explanation of what I do as a coach. (I tend to be overly modest when I talk about what I do.)
Anyway, I've had that goal for months. And for months, I have not fulfilled it. Each month, it feels as though I failed at the goal, and then I dutifully add it to the new month's list. But it goes on the new list as a “failure” being forwarded to the new month, not as something I feel excited about.
What I realized was that it would be much more effective for me to end the month, notice what I didn't do, and somehow let it go. Acknowledge that it didn't get done. Maybe acknowledge that I wasn't committed to doing it, or that my priorities changed, or whatever. Again, somehow, let it go.
Then, with the new month, I could choose to include it on my new list or not. So, since today is the last day in July, I'm going to devote some time to coming up with that elusive elevator pitch. If I don't get it, I'm just going to let it go for now.